Transitioning To The Real World - Confessions Of A Former Artist

Remember the TV show "Mork & Mindy" ? About an alien trying to fit in after becoming stranded in society here on earth.? Tune in every Thursday. Hilarity ensues.

I felt much the same way when I recently came off the road after 21 years of playing music for a living. The struggling economy put a lot of artists out of business, and I got caught in the wave. No choice but to do something different if I wanted to continue to do little things like, oh I don't know...eat, be clothed, stay warm, etc.

So I took a straight job. What the heck, it's just another gig, I can do this, right? Well.....

I quickly found out that working a day job is much different than trying to be an artist.....a lot different.

For starters, they expect you to be in the same place at the same time.....every blessed day. After 20 years of one night stands, this was a new concept. I'm used to waking up and taking a few minutes to remember what time zone I'm in.

They also expect you to work regular hours. What the heck are regular hours? I've always gotten in forty hours or more a week, but it wasn't uncommon to do it in a day or two, coupling traveling hundreds of miles, load in, rehearsal, show, tear down, etc etc. This eight hours on sixteen off takes some getting used to.

I get to see the sun come up. And I don't like it. I figure if God wanted me to see the sun rise, He'd have put it in the middle of the day. Doing music was great. What other job lets you roll out of bed at the crack of noon, eat Froot Loops in your jockey shorts, watch Perry Mason on the TV in your hotel room, comb your hair with your hands, and still have a full day ahead by the time you stumble down to the lobby?

I have to play by somebody else's rules. Part of what made the arts so glorious was that there were no rules. You made it up as you went. The unfortunate result is that I am now 44 years old and barely housebroken. Woof.

And the worst part? I have to grow up. I spent 20 years getting paid to make the same racket that got me yelled at by my parents when I was a teenager. God Bless America. But there comes a time when every man should start giving advice to his kids instead of taking it from them, and the time is now.

So I'm off the road. I'm doing this straight job, grown up, responsible sort of thing. It's not the first difficult gig I've played, nor will it be the last. As with any endeavor, every day will not be exciting, nor will they all be boring.....I can only hope that they will always be interesting.

And to all my best mates who are still on the road doing what they do best, I will now give you the same advice that so many have given me..........get a job......